I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
