i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
