dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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