Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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