Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
