okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
