; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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