Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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