So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
