That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
