he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am available for nakedness
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
