does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
