My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
