She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
