I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
