so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
