dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
