Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
