i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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