Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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