I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
