im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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