We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
