So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize