my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize