sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize