actually, I'm a sock model
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I have fence marks all over my body
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
