I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
