Taylor Swift is so right about you.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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