I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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