I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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