Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
