did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
