you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
cat food counts as protein by the way
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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