Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
