I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
