There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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