Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
