Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
