It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
