she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize