The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
