Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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