Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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