A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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