You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
