FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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