Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
