We're facebook friends in real life
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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