hotel room ftw
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
