Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
