Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
