just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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