i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
