maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
