yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
