and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Terrible idea I love it
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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