She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize