I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
